We didn’t get much done, but it sure was exciting — Steve, our contractor, turned his truck into the driveway about 10:15. He was late, which is the norm, although he has been early at least once. Like most contractors, his philosophy of time is fluid. He calls just before he comes, though. My hope was to dispose of several small…

The answer is quite logical, I think — Even the most bizarre behaviors can have logical reasons behind them. It was 5 AM this morning, and you would have found me trudging from my office through the kitchen and dining room, proceeding past the living room couch, and turning around at the front door to return to the…

Omigod! Really? I had no clue — I thought I knew what constipation was. I foolishly shrugged aside other people who complained about it, privately thinking them weak or overly sensitive. I must apologize to all because I had no frigging idea. I previously thought constipation was a momentary hesitation, a reluctance, a “just a sec, boss”…

How to rock bladder surgery — While being wheeled into the operating room, I started to ask my doctor a question. “So, if this is cancer..?” He cut in sharply. “It is cancer.” I thought such a diagnosis would follow the biopsy, but who am I to argue with a doctor? I have argued with doctors…

Hands of lightning, reflexes of a cat — A small fly flew by my nose while I cleaned up the dinner dishes. I clapped my hands, hoping that the loud noise would stun or kill him. This is a little known method, but it works well with small flies. …

Blessings upon gearhead cops — My 1973 Gran Torino Sport had the 163 horsepower 351 cubic inch Cleveland engine. Basically it was the same car as Clint Eastwood had in Gran Torino, except that his was a ’72. …

If there’s no solution presently, don’t think about it. — When I was younger, I would sometimes lose sleep over difficult problems. Those problems could also sneak into my working hours, distracting me into annoying errors. Probably the most frequently intruded time was when I was driving to or from my clients. I was fortunate not to have so many…

Over compensating for her short stature — This morning, my wife and I met for our usual hug. Because she is eight inches shorter than I am, she usually raises herself up on tiptoes so we can kiss. I happened to look down today and noticed neither of her feet were touching the floor. This should not…

Star Trek’s Universal Translator seems just as unlikely now — I remember scoffing at Star Trek’s Universal Translator. How could such a thing ever exist? With no context other than facial expressions and gestures, how could that be possible? True believers told me that Europeans learned Native American languages when they “discovered” the New World, but that was different. A…