I was lucky to spot the con

Every now and then I look through my spam folder to see if I missed anything important and just to see if there are any good gold smuggling opportunities.

Also it is always nice to catch up with some of my old Nigerian Prince friends. None of our past deals have ever worked out, but still I know that they try, so I like to keep in touch.

Imagine my surprise when I came across an email that informed me that someone has a video of me watching porn and pleasuring myself. Well, color me surprised!

All they wanted from…


Not that the high price helped, of course

Photo by author

In November 2014, Amazon announced its Alexa Echo. They also offered it to me and probably thousands of others soon after. I bought it.

It was a pretty cool product, and I knew it would be successful, so I bought more Amazon stock (it was so cheap then), but the Echo wasn’t all that slick and I wished Apple had made it instead of Amazon.

A mere three years and two months later, barely an eyelid blink later in Apple product development time, Apple began taking orders for its Homepod. …


I do understand why My Octopus Teacher might upset some people. Yes, it should have been more octopus and less introspection.

I get it. I enjoyed the film myself, but that’s because I instantly tune out any and all life lessons no matter what the source. Someone’s experiencing midlife angst? Excuse me, I need to floss.

I’m 73, life itself has given me enough lessons, thanks anyway.

Sure, I was annoyed be the prime directive nonsense. Help the little guy get away from that shark, dammit!

But the little multi armed guys only live for a year at best, so..


And you’ll likely be very happy later

Dilated and ready to be poked. Photo by author.

My yearly eye exam was routine except for one little warning from the eye doc.

“You won’t pass the nighttime driving test. Your cataracts are past the cutoff. You may want to consider cataract surgery.”

To which I reacted with a hearty “Hell, yes! Let’s do this thing!”

Not what the doc expected

I guess most people are less enthusiastic about that sort of news. People I’ve talked to about this often say something like “I can’t stand the thought of them sticking a needle in my eye!”

Yes, as my title says, they do stick things in your eye. Several different sharp things go…


The sad ones, the lonely ones, the unloved orphans

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

These stories were, ahem, unsuccessful.

Who knows why they flopped? Bad timing, bad title, bad first sentence? Perhaps they were published too soon after I started here when I had few followers?

Or maybe my judgment of them is simply undeserved.

Whatever the reason, I liked these posts, but they never got much traffic. Sometimes almost traffic at all! They most definitely were not curated. Plainly the few readers they had said “Meh” and never shared them with friends.

For whatever they are worth, here are the sad ones, the lonely ones, the unloved orphans, in no particular order.


Will tomorrow be Monday?

Photo by NASA on Unsplash

Mankind has long been confounded by the progression of the days. We know (or think we know) that there are seven days in a week and four weeks in a month. Yet only one month has 28 days in it, which would seem to be contradictory.

Many physicists have struggled with this problem. Most take the classical approach of saying that months must be 28 days long, but that contradicts the 365 day year, so it only pushes the problem down the road to be magically dealt with in December.

I am not a fan of magic. I believe in…


I don't have enough money to live much longer than a normal human life span.

Would I want to? I'm not so sure. We have an instinct for self preservation, but the older we get, the more we preserve our likes and dislikes as well. I'm not saying I'm a grumpy person, but I can only not be by avoiding news and people that upset me and that seems to get harder every year.

So if I am still alive forty years from now, I'd expect to be impoverished, angry, irritable and generally intractable.

If genetics can fix that, sign me up.


But I do have some suggestions

I have been using various Spanish learning apps over the past decade, but had not made much progress until I retired this year and have had more time to devote to it.

I recently tried Tandem because I now feel ready to begin some direct communication. I am not yet ready to talk face to face; I’m far too slow translating in either direction. Maybe someday, but not now.

Tandem allows you to text back and forth and it doesn’t necessarily have to be in real-time. It also allows recording speech, so you can use it for what you and…


It might have changed my life in a bad way

Photo by author. TRS-80 c. 1978

Back in the late ’70s, I was casting about looking for another job.

I knew more about computers than most people did back then; I had bought a TRS-80 and programmed it for games and to do some heat exchange calculations for a stack reclaim system I had been selling. When I saw an ad for a junior programmer, I thought “Why not?” and applied. The company responded quickly, telling me that I would need to take a test.

Okay, a test. I’m good at taking tests. No problem with that. …


I’d given up on Medium search and have been using Google with “site:medium.com whatever I’m looking for”. Today I read this article by J.J. Pryor:

And I am impressed. You…

Anthony Lawrence

Retired Unix Consultant. Kicking back and enjoying writing now. Not seeking work, not selling anything. No longer responsible for my old aplawrence site.

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