Member-only story
MEET THE STAFF
Dear Over-55 Retirement Community Homeowners
Tis I, your community manager
After Hour Emergencies
Our management office is open from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM. Should you have some sort of after-hours emergency, our under-paid and overworked staff may be available at one of the numbers posted behind the water cooler in the gym. We recommend writing those numbers down as the gym closes at 10:00 PM.
Another number posted there will open the main gate for a late night visitor. It looks like a phone number but is not. We do not label any of the numbers for security, and some of the numbers are just randomly copied from the phone book. This is also for your security.
Please be patient and understanding of anyone you reach at one of the random numbers. They probably don’t like being woken up any more than our staff does.
There have been instances where staff will jokingly pretend you have reached a random person’s number. Working at the Over-55 Retirement Community can be very stressful; I encourage our workers to enjoy a bit of leg pulling before finding out what you need. They have been told to joke around no more than five minutes and all have promised that. Wait them out.
On that note, nobody will be coming out in the middle of the night to unclog your toilet. As a fellow human also adverse to unclogging toilets, I recommend lying to staff about the nature of your emergency. Don’t tell them I said that.
Please do not give out the gate number, it is for your use only and we change it frequently. We will notify you on the billiard ball room bulletin board if the number has changed. In an emergency, have your guest drive through at thirty mph or more. The gate will break away with minimal damage to their vehicle. It’s what all the insurance agents and Jehovah’s Witnesses do anyway.
Customer Service
Our Customer Service Representative is Marcia Driscoll. She is at the front desk in the management office and handles day-to-day customer service requests. This includes landscaping, trash pickup, maintenance requests and anything I don’t like doing, like spreadsheets. She is a whiz at faking home office reports…
