Electric Shades From Hell

It’s only money


New blinds and shades
Hell Shades photo by author

Don’t electric shades sound cool? Push a button, and up go the shades. Push another, close ’em down. So fricking cool! Twenty-first century, baby!

Yeah. Unless you buy the Electric Shades From Hell.

Which we did not buy. Not at first, anyway. First we bought seven manual pleated cellular shades and seven aluminum blinds to go behind them. This was not an insignificant expense, running just under a grand per window, but we have beaucoup money. We’re rolling in it.

We are rolling in it if we both die sometime in the next ten years. After that, well, it gets iffy. But life is meant for joy, and what says joy better than new blinds and shades?

So the order was placed, our money was paid, and they came and installed everything. I had to move the narrow table out from in front of the living room windows so the installers could do their thing, but it’s light, and I’m only old, not old and frail. When they left, I put the table back and, because the sun was shining brightly, I decided to close things down.

It was easy to reach the wand and pull-string for the blinds. I lowered them and turned the reflective sides of the slats toward the sun. So smooth! Such joy! I reached up and pulled down the left-hand…



Anthony (Tony/Pcunix) Lawrence 👀

Retired Unix Consultant. I write tech and humor mostly but sometimes other things. See my Lists if your interests are specific.