MARRIAGE
For Better, For Worse, Till Death Do Us Part is Not Just a Promise
Because it’s worse for both of you
This morning I read “Questions from an Unsuitable Caregiver” by Orrin Onken. Orrin asks a number of partly tongue in cheek questions about caring for a partner with a chronic disease. He asks questions such as “Should dinner be what the cared for person wants to eat or what the caretaker wants to cook?” and “After meals, should the kitchen be cleaned to the specifications of the caretaker, the cared for, or some middle ground?”
I am in very much the same situation. My wife is consumed by pain from arthritis, congenital skeletal problems, and broken bones from multiple falls. I am far more healthy than she, so I am her caretaker.
Almost exclusively, I take her desires as law because she has a very diminished life. I want to give her whatever happiness as I can and not add to her misery.
There are exceptions. I have severe GERD, so I insist upon eating my last meal of the day by 2:00 PM. If she’s not ready to eat then, I’ll stretch it to 3:00, but beyond that, I will eat alone. My own health is important too.
When I bend down and straighten up frequently, I get dizzy and later will get a painful headache. Therefore, gardening…
