Member-only story
COVID HUMOR
Hoarding is Starting to Look Good to Me
Is my Neighbor Hoarding?
We are starting to run out of toilet paper, paper towels, napkins and some favorite food items.
It can be amusing. Last week my wife asked that I pick up some tomato sauce. I returned home without it. She asked “Were they completely out?” I answered with honesty, “Well, they did have plenty of Prego”. She nodded her understanding and added “Nobody likes Prego”.
When I returned from BJ’s with a single package of their brand of toilet paper, she raised her eyebrows. “That will be coarse”, she sighed.
If she only knew
She has done no foraging, no scouring of aisles, no checking behind unpopular items just in case what we want is hidden there. When I reached the toilet paper aisle at BJ’s, it was a visual and visceral shock. Where there should have been mounds of the stuff, only empty shelves reached to the ceiling. But there, forlorn and unloved, was one single remaining package. I snagged it and headed for checkout, avoiding the baleful looks of people now arriving who realized I must have the last of it.
I have been unsuccessful with any of these items since then. When I have asked when a store might expect more, store employees laugh at my naiveté. I’ve…
