I feel an intense urge to sit you down and explain what is wrong with your article.

I’m guessing at your location, but I think we are not more that’s four hundred miles apart. As I would be doing you the favor of imparting my wisdom, I think you should come to me (and pick up the food tab if we eat during your education).

Please pick out several days in July when you can do this and I will let you know which is convenient for me.

In the meantime, I suggest deleting this post.