MAYBE HUMOR?

If My Watch Didn’t Record It, It Didn’t Happen

And other ridiculous tech compulsions

Screenshot by author

Logically, I can meet my exercise goals whether I am wearing my watch or not. Yet, I will remove my watch from its charging stand and put it on even if my intention is only a ten-minute indoor walk.

I can easily convince myself that this is completely sensible. If my watch does not report my steps to the Health app, my monthly average steps will show a lower figure than they should.

We cannot have that! What would the neighbors think? Or my doctor? Though neither my neighbors nor my doctor have any access to or interest in my Health app, I’m going to record that ten minutes of pacing because I have to. It is very important; I’m sure of that.

And if I walk over three and a half miles, I must walk four miles. This is entirely pointless; three and a half miles a day is more than I need. Why am I compelled to reach four, but content to stop at three and two tenths?

I don’t know, but it’s real.

Damn Stats!

I also have to look at my Medium stats every three hours from 6:30 AM to 6:30 PM. Why? I’m not sure, but it must be done. Why at those particular times? I have no clue, but I do have alarms on my watch…