HEALTH

I’m 30 Again and My Wife Doesn’t Like It

Nope, not my age, just my waist

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Adobe Firefly image of a digital scale indicating 150 lbs
Adobe Firefly image by author

Today I dug through a pile of very old jeans and found two pairs of 30–30 to put aside. The rest were mostly 32–30 and 33–30; I’ll be putting those in a clothing collection box the next time I go out.

I can wear the 30 inch waist again.

Really, I’ve been able to for months, but I’ve been cinching up my belt and tugging the 32’s up all day because I wanted to make sure I am really there, that the weight and the waist aren’t coming back.

I am really there.

I’m happy about that. It’s required years of cutting calories — no keto, Atkins, or anything like that — and exercise, but I’m there again, back where I was as a young man. If I had to attribute my success to only one thing, I’d give the award to retirement. No more work stress, no more hours of driving, no more fast food on the road, plenty of free time for exercise.

There are some wrinkles though, mostly on my face. I look older.

Sometimes a mirror or a reflection in a glass window will catch me by surprise and an involuntary “Whoah!” will leak out. When we do a FaceTime with our daughters I wonder who that old man on the couch beside my wife could be.

It’s me, but not the me I know.

And my wife doesn’t like it. As my waist has melted and my face has drawn in, she has regularly reminded me that “A little fat is good for you as you get older.” When that didn’t work, she ramped it up to “You look old!”

Well, hell, I am old. I’m a 1948 model and I have some rust. But here’s the thing: since losing the excess weight, I feel better. I’m more energetic, peppier, and I have more spring in my step. I’m a tad over 5–10 and 150 pounds, which is not overly skinny, at least by my standards. I’d give me slim, okay? And I like slim. It feels good to be slim again and step into my old 30–30's.

I’d rather look old and feel young than the other way around. Why wouldn’t I?

Losing weight isn’t easy. As I noted, retirement helped me avoid crap food, relieved stress, and gave more more time for exercise. I also used the Lose It app to track calories, though…

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Anthony (Tony/Pcunix) Lawrence

Retired Unix Consultant. I write tech and humor mostly but sometimes other things. see my Lists if your interests are specific.