I'm presently caring for my wife of 54 years.

I never want to put her in a home, but at some point, hopefully years from now, my health or hers could make that impossible to avoid. I get upset when I think about that and it's something we never talk about.

My mother went to a home after a mini-stroke that left her confused and unable to remember us. Unexpectedly, a few years later, she recovered her mind. The doctors were astonished, but what surprised us is that she liked being in the home. She had deteriorated physically by that time, so she needed to, but she *wanted* to. Very odd, but it certainly made us feel better. As long as we brought her new books to read every week, she was happy to sit in that room.