My Fame Is Quite Annoying at Times Like These
My sister texted me this morning asking that my daughter update her should anything unexpected happen to me. I’m sure all of you know that I am scheduled for what my doctor says is a minor operation to remove a small blob from my bladder. The doctor expects this unwanted intruder to be benign, but with someone as famous as I am, the media speculation has been wild.
My sister means well, of course, but I had to remind her that even the smallest hiccup in my health will be all over TV, radio and the web, and my daughter will be busy with reporters all day. She will reach out to family when she can. My sister hasn’t really grasped the extent of my fame since I began writing on Medium.
People have asked me if I am worried. Yes, some trickle of doom-think has leaked into me in the past few days. The human body is a very complicated machine. It’s astonishing that most of us live as long as we do, really. The betrayal of our bodies should be no surprise.
But fear not, loyal fans. I expect to be back to bask in your adoring gaze very quickly. I understand how you depend upon my wit to raise your spirits from the despair of your unimportant lives. I recognize my responsibilities to the little people.
So, while I may be too groggy tomorrow to entertain you, I will return as soon as I can.
More seriously, I do have minor surgery tomorrow. Be back soon, I hope.