My ideal death is to keel over while out walking. Sudden dizziness, collapse, and gone.

Most of this is because I’d like to be outdoors, doing something I love.

However, there is some part of me that wickedly wants to ruin someone else’s day.

Bill and Edna are on their way out shopping. As they approach, they see me wobble and fall. They know me, so cannot just drive by. They have to stop. They see that I am not breathing; they have to call 911, and then they have to decide whether they need to wait for the ambulance.

They argue. Bill reminds Edna that I’m a g.d. ACLU atheist liberal, so why should they care? Edna truly would like to get to the store, but she feels guilty. She snaps back at Bill, asking how he could even think to just drive away? . He yells back that I’m on my way to hell and why should they have to wait?

In my last moment of consciousness, I laugh. I got my wish.