My problems are food and napkins.

I do not eat in our car. I will not eat in our car. If I have to eat and can't go inside, I will step outside to eat.

Therefore, I have no need of napkins in my car.

My wife, however, does eat in our car because she is neat, careful, and does not spill things. Or so she claims. Yet, whenever she brings food to the car, she also brings dozens of napkins. The glovebox is stuffed with napkins, but she brings more every time.

Somehow, the meticulously handled food leaps out of its containers, wriggles off her fork, and dives deep into crevices. Perhaps it does not want to be eaten? That's the only possible explanation because my wife never has spilled anything.

Well, the other theory is that I sleepwalk and go to the car to eat and drop crumbs everywhere. Or I secretly eat when she's not with me and will not admit it.

Shrug. This is why I keep a vacuum in the garage.