My wife and I used to pool our money, but that’s dried up to a little puddle now, so we’ve been thinking about porn as a business.

We obviously don’t have any money to hire porn stars, so we will be the performers. I did a little research and found there don’t seem to be a lot of people in their seventies doing this, so I figure we can be pioneers and make a bazillion at it.

We put a webcam in our bedroom, but we tend to fall asleep and forget about bumping our bits or whatever you call it. Do you think we can sell this as just us sleeping? Sometimes I get up to pee.