Oh, boy. When I opened this story, my finger accidentally brushed the applause button, giving you one clap. I thought, never mind, I’ll fix that in 29 seconds (I have a timer set to never read you for more than 30 seconds, so 29 seconds gives me time to finish a sentence. Or a paragraph, if you ever write one) .

Anyway, then I realized you have only imaginary friends, so are probably refreshing your “stories” every minute, and you might see that single clap and be hurt.

Then I thought, well, tough, it was an accident. Maybe I’ll leave it be.

Then I felt guilty about my callousness, so I went back to hold my finger down long enough for 50 claps.

You owe me for my consideration and kindness.