Humor

Seeking Political Asylum — Need Ride

I’m sick of living with these people. Come and get me.

Photo by ruddy.media on Unsplash

Dear UFOians:

I apologize for not knowing how to address you properly — they don’t teach us much down here. Or up here, over here: however you think of us in relation to where ever you came from. Come from. Are from. Were from?

I don’t know. All I know is that I watched Larry King the other night and he had some angry people on who caught glimpses of you guys in your flying saucers. They say they are all ticked off because nobody believes them but I think there’s more to it.

I think that they, like me, want off this rock and they are ticked off that you didn’t abduct them.

The way I figure it, you are studying us. It would be like us noticing some long lost tribe in the Amazon that has never had contact with the rest of us for thousands of years. We wouldn’t want to pollute their society, we’d want to study it. I figure that’s your thing. Hidden observers, no interference. I nailed it, didn’t I?

No doubt you are quite depressed by how stupid and warlike we are. Here’s the thing: some of us are pretty depressed by how stupid and warlike we are too. We can’t SAY anything — well, we can, but everybody looks at us like we’re nuts, so…