WHEN YOU GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO
The Ghost of Operations Past
How to rock bladder surgery
While being wheeled into the operating room, I started to ask my doctor a question. “So, if this is cancer..?”
He cut in sharply. “It is cancer.”
I thought such a diagnosis would follow the biopsy, but who am I to argue with a doctor? I have argued with doctors about computer problems, but I had the upper hand there. Also, they were paying me, not the other way around. I had always enjoyed writing out big invoices for doctors. Yes, that’s a little sadistic of me. Tough.
I’m not a worrier. If this thing in my bladder was cancer, I’d think about it later. All I wanted to know was when I could get a follow-up appointment. He wouldn’t have known anyway, so I shut my mouth.
Earlier, a nurse had been by to rig up some intravenous tubes. She started by trying to find a usable vein in the back of my hand. I’ve had that done before, but she struggled, muttering something about “valves”.
Sheesh. There are veins all over my hands. Look, see? There must be valves in there somewhere. Turns out, that was the problem — too many valves in her way.
