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THE NEED FOR SPEED
The Scary Fast Apple Event
Are you kidding me?
The Scary Fast Apple Event is tomorrow night, unless you neglected to read this at right time. Do not blame me if you missed your opportunity — the fault lies not in the stars but with you. And if you did miss your chance, why would you read this post now? The event already happened and you know what happened, duh.
Unless you hope to catch me in an error? That won’t happen because I have once again, at great personal peril, traveled to the future to bring you Tony’s Real Facts About Stuff That Is Gonna Happen™.
But first, I want to review what other prognosticators — people who cannot time-travel— have thought the event might be about.
3-nanometer Macs
What? Do these jokers even know what a nanometer is? It’s like a billionth of a meter or something like that. I don’t know meters from Shinola or nanos from amperes, but I know it’s something tiny. You’d need one of those plastic rulers with the marks really close together to measure 3 nanometers. It’s probably even smaller than the distance between the two ell’s in “small”!
A 3-nanometer Mac? Yeah, it would be a portable computer, but you can’t fit much on the screen, and I’d bet anything even Tim Apple’s fingers are too…
