Member-only story
COMPUTER TROUBLE
Things I’ve Had To Say To Customers
Always with deference and respect
I spent over thirty years troubleshooting Unix servers, their operating systems, their applications, and their networks. I had a few steady clients, but many others were one-offs. I never knew what to expect when I arrived on-site in the days before everyone had internet access. A lot of the work was intense, but there were some lighter moments.
“If I drive all the way up there and it’s unplugged, I’m still going to charge you at least four hundred dollars.”
Three hour drive up, three hour drive back. Less than a second to plug the computer back in.
“Bring the computer outside. I am not going back in there again.”
A very dead and very smelly rat in the ceiling.
“Do you think that CAT-5 wire should be on the floor where a forklift runs over it?”
Intermittent computer network problems in the warehouse.
“I found your coffee.”
A used coffee cup sitting inside a machine I had just opened up.
“There’s no power yet on this floor?”
They called me to configure the entire system and the network.
